Yes.  In a word.  Yes, we have chosen to keep Teddy’s intended room as a nursery.  That may be a little odd to some people (To those people I say; come back to me when your baby has died and we can have a chat?); but it is what we have chosen to do for now.  Perhaps it is what we have chosen to do indefinitely, I am really not sure?

The start of February always feels like the start of Spring to me.  The birds get seriously noisy, I start to notice snowdrops sprouting up here and there; and in recent years it makes me think about being in the final throes of wedding planning for our Easter weekend wedding.  That was nearly three years ago (oh how time flies when life is really showing you all it’s twists and turns!).  I bloody loved planning our wedding, totally loved it.  I know people like to say how “stressful” it is and how there’s so much organising to be done (well there is!); but that was a really exciting challenge for me and one I couldn’t wait to get stuck in to.

Nine months of pregnancy; nine months of excitement.  For me those nine months were a time when I was utterly bursting with anticipation to meet our little bundle, and blissfully unaware of the path that our lives were about to take.  So as we approach this coming week, and the 16th February, I am reflecting on nine months since the day that Teddy was born; nine months of loss.

I think we all know that feeling of walking into a hotel bathroom and thinking to ourselves, “This is so much better/ nicer/ thought out than my bathroom.”  Quickly followed by; “Why, is this so much bloody better?” and/or “Why is this not my bathroom?”