It always surprises me how often I get asked about many of the smallest details and pieces in my home when I share a picture on Instagram.  I love that people care about the homely details as much as I do.  Faffing around with the never-ending details in our house gives me endless entertainment (see there’s that damn procrastination again); and sometimes I just use it as a way to focus my mind when I’m having a difficult day and thinking about Teddy.  I guess I’m often thinking about what I should be doing now; more often than not I’m overthinking.  So focusing on the details at home helps my vivid imagination from running wild.

You are so brave.  Four words I hear so often now.  I’m not going to lie to you; I don’t think I am.  I know that when people say those four words to me they are simply expressing, in the only way they know how, that they don’t quite know how they would react if they were faced with the loss of their first born child.  Let me ask you this though; what do you ordinarily do when life throws something your way that you weren’t anticipating? Something that is entirely out of your control.  I can tell you now that you deal with it; you might not like it, but you face it head on.  Why?  Because you have to.

Our home is by no means finished; I’m not sure it will ever be “finished”.  I am more of a serial re-decorator as opposed to a serial decorator.  It’s not our “Forever Home”, but that’s not to say I don’t want it to feel like we’ll be here forever.  When I walked into this house, I knew we would be at home here; I wanted to raise our children here (those hypothetical children who we are yet to bring home, of course).  The street is a peaceful row of beautiful Victorian semi-detached houses, the gardens sprawling and sloped with lots of room to create an inside/outside space; and the neighbours and community friendly.  I knew this was the house for us. (It also meant I could get a dog. Cue Boris).

Teddy.  Edward Constantine Wright.  Born on Monday 16th May 2016 at 6.45pm weighing just 6lb 2oz.  He was full term (well 4 days short of his due date).  I was induced following leaking waters and reduced movements, and was in active labour for six hours after they broke my front waters.  Gas and air got me through (and lots of yoga breathing, posing and trying to reassure myself “You’ve got this”). I must have guzzled down about two litres of Lucozade energy and eaten my body weight in jelly babies during that time in an attempt to “Keep my energy up!”