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    Work with me
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Feathering the empty nest -
  • home
  • Teddy & Me
  • Teddy’s Legacy
  • My Books
  • Blog
    • Home
    • Lifestyle
    • Loss
    • Pregnancy After Loss
    • Mum’s Voice Blog Series
  • Say Hello
    • Work with me
    • Subscribe to my blog
Mum’s Voice Blog Series

Billy Stardust; Stillborn, Still Loved.

4th March 2020 by Elle 5 Comments

The summer of 2018 is one I’ll never forget.  Britain was in the midst of the longest heatwave since the 1970’s, and I was pregnant with my first child.  It was a summer spent excitedly preparing for my son’s arrival with only a tinge of FOMO that I couldn’t join my friends drinking Pimms and revelling in this endless summer.  I sat in my garden cradling my huge nine-month bump staring at the now parched grass, imagining myself splashing in a paddling pool next summer with my one-year old son.  I couldn’t wait to be his mummy and finally have him here.  Little did I know that this would be the last normal day of my life.

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About me

elle Elle Wright is a wife, mother, author and blogger. After the death of her son, Teddy, at three days old, Elle started writing to navigate her new life and as a way to feel purpose again. Her Feathering The Empty Nest blog is a way of finding light in darkness, positivity in times of desperation and, hopefully, making a few people laugh along the way.

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feathering_the_empty_nest

Like so many of us in recent days I’ve been taki Like so many of us in recent days I’ve been taking moments to truly appreciate the things we often take for granted. Food, warmth, safety.
Finding glimmers of joy through the bursts of much-needed spring sunshine. 
Remembering to breathe in deeply when I’m enjoying the freedom of a long walk.
Pushing my daughter on the swing, taking her swimming, sitting down to eat a meal together. Getting to tuck her into a safe, warm bed. 
Remembering how truly lucky we are to be able to have any of those things. Because really, once all is said and done, that’s all that separates any of us from the unthinkable; luck.
💙💛
One from two weeks ago, because it makes me feel h One from two weeks ago, because it makes me feel happy and calm.  Learning to ride those emotions of TTC after loss (again🤪) and appreciating those moments of happiness and calm in between. I’m halfway into writing a piece about secondary infertility second-time-around (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write?!), and it struck me that this time around,  I do get more of those moments of pure happiness.  It took me such a long time to feel truly happy again; that kind of happiness that hurts your face and makes you feel like you’re going to burst.  So when I get to feel like that I grasp it with both hands and don’t want to let it go.
We’ve decided against jumping back into IVF this time. I don’t want to fall back down that hole of crashing from month-to-month, cycle-to-cycle, and living by rules of “but we might be going through treatment/pregnant by then, so…” Eight years of your life feels like an incredibly long time to be swallowed whole by the desire to start (and grow) a family. So many of those years spent consumed by grief and “what ifs”. Although I’m painfully aware that those eight years will be much shorter a time than other peoples journeys. 
So, for now,  we’ll be seeking out (and clutching hold of) those moments of pure happiness🌊✨
I’d love to know what other people have done to get them through the times when they’ve taken a break from treatment/trying/everything in between?🤷🏼‍♀️
#abumpintheroad #askmehisname #secondaryinfertility
Sunnier moments and later sunsets….absolutely ho Sunnier moments and later sunsets….absolutely holding on for the promise of Spring🤪🤞🏼✨🌱
These past couple of weeks we’ve been full of illness and keeping ourselves entertained by watching the diggers in the garden (endless fun!😂) and today we’ve finished off the week by blasting out Hanson’s all time classic “Where’s the Love?”….an absolute high-brow musical education happening over here, I think we can all agree🤷🏼‍♀️👍🏼😂
On my ever-growing To Do list in here- get some panelling on that wall. Although I think we’ll do it differently to the old house🤔
#springisintheair #whereisthelovetho
I’ve got that Friday feeling and this sunshine i I’ve got that Friday feeling and this sunshine is definitely helping✨🌞 
Why are all of the weeks of January approx 243 days long?🤷🏼‍♀️😂
Still, I’ve put all those extra hours to good use 😩and we’ve been planning phase 2 (of about 58 phases😳🤣) of our house renovation. We’ve chosen new windows, are in the process of planning the garden (work starting in just 9 days time, not that I’m counting🤭⏳) and are making some more changes/additions inside the house. 
In the meantime, I’m just enjoying the corners that look a little bit finished. This one is a guest bedroom, and if I’m honest….after we bought this bed I wanted to swap it into our room🙈🤷🏼‍♀️
Anyone else out there making plans for home and garden improvements this year?
#tgif #homerenovation
I will kiss your pebble head for as long as this e I will kiss your pebble head for as long as this earth allows me. A thousand thank you’s will never be enough for all you’ve got us through❤️
Happy Birthday to my main squeeze, trusty steed and all-round good guy🥳🎈
#hedidntchoosethepuglife
Gearing up for a wild one here…. If wild means s Gearing up for a wild one here….
If wild means staying in, opening a bottle of 🍾 and definitely being asleep before midnight?!🤷🏼‍♀️🤪😂
I hope everyone had a happy week, and if you didn’t, then I wish for many happier days to come for you🤞🏼❤️✨
Just a little note from me you say thank you. Thank you for sticking around and for putting up with me being the most lackadaisical poster on here for the last year, for your unwavering kindness and support (especially with A Bump In The Road📚), and for never failing to make me howl with laughter with comments and messages. You guys are the best❤️
I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, so if you could all just carry on being wonderful then that would be fantastic👏🏼 Here’s to a happy year ahead…
Cheers everyone🥂
#twelvedaysofchristmas #auldlangsyne #promiseillpostmoreoften 🤣
Load More… Follow on Instagram

Categories

  • Home
  • Lifestyle
  • Loss
  • Mum’s Voice Blog Series
  • Pregnancy After Loss

feathering_the_empty_nest

Like so many of us in recent days I’ve been taki Like so many of us in recent days I’ve been taking moments to truly appreciate the things we often take for granted. Food, warmth, safety.
Finding glimmers of joy through the bursts of much-needed spring sunshine. 
Remembering to breathe in deeply when I’m enjoying the freedom of a long walk.
Pushing my daughter on the swing, taking her swimming, sitting down to eat a meal together. Getting to tuck her into a safe, warm bed. 
Remembering how truly lucky we are to be able to have any of those things. Because really, once all is said and done, that’s all that separates any of us from the unthinkable; luck.
💙💛
One from two weeks ago, because it makes me feel h One from two weeks ago, because it makes me feel happy and calm.  Learning to ride those emotions of TTC after loss (again🤪) and appreciating those moments of happiness and calm in between. I’m halfway into writing a piece about secondary infertility second-time-around (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write?!), and it struck me that this time around,  I do get more of those moments of pure happiness.  It took me such a long time to feel truly happy again; that kind of happiness that hurts your face and makes you feel like you’re going to burst.  So when I get to feel like that I grasp it with both hands and don’t want to let it go.
We’ve decided against jumping back into IVF this time. I don’t want to fall back down that hole of crashing from month-to-month, cycle-to-cycle, and living by rules of “but we might be going through treatment/pregnant by then, so…” Eight years of your life feels like an incredibly long time to be swallowed whole by the desire to start (and grow) a family. So many of those years spent consumed by grief and “what ifs”. Although I’m painfully aware that those eight years will be much shorter a time than other peoples journeys. 
So, for now,  we’ll be seeking out (and clutching hold of) those moments of pure happiness🌊✨
I’d love to know what other people have done to get them through the times when they’ve taken a break from treatment/trying/everything in between?🤷🏼‍♀️
#abumpintheroad #askmehisname #secondaryinfertility
Sunnier moments and later sunsets….absolutely ho Sunnier moments and later sunsets….absolutely holding on for the promise of Spring🤪🤞🏼✨🌱
These past couple of weeks we’ve been full of illness and keeping ourselves entertained by watching the diggers in the garden (endless fun!😂) and today we’ve finished off the week by blasting out Hanson’s all time classic “Where’s the Love?”….an absolute high-brow musical education happening over here, I think we can all agree🤷🏼‍♀️👍🏼😂
On my ever-growing To Do list in here- get some panelling on that wall. Although I think we’ll do it differently to the old house🤔
#springisintheair #whereisthelovetho
I’ve got that Friday feeling and this sunshine i I’ve got that Friday feeling and this sunshine is definitely helping✨🌞 
Why are all of the weeks of January approx 243 days long?🤷🏼‍♀️😂
Still, I’ve put all those extra hours to good use 😩and we’ve been planning phase 2 (of about 58 phases😳🤣) of our house renovation. We’ve chosen new windows, are in the process of planning the garden (work starting in just 9 days time, not that I’m counting🤭⏳) and are making some more changes/additions inside the house. 
In the meantime, I’m just enjoying the corners that look a little bit finished. This one is a guest bedroom, and if I’m honest….after we bought this bed I wanted to swap it into our room🙈🤷🏼‍♀️
Anyone else out there making plans for home and garden improvements this year?
#tgif #homerenovation
I will kiss your pebble head for as long as this e I will kiss your pebble head for as long as this earth allows me. A thousand thank you’s will never be enough for all you’ve got us through❤️
Happy Birthday to my main squeeze, trusty steed and all-round good guy🥳🎈
#hedidntchoosethepuglife
Gearing up for a wild one here…. If wild means s Gearing up for a wild one here….
If wild means staying in, opening a bottle of 🍾 and definitely being asleep before midnight?!🤷🏼‍♀️🤪😂
I hope everyone had a happy week, and if you didn’t, then I wish for many happier days to come for you🤞🏼❤️✨
Just a little note from me you say thank you. Thank you for sticking around and for putting up with me being the most lackadaisical poster on here for the last year, for your unwavering kindness and support (especially with A Bump In The Road📚), and for never failing to make me howl with laughter with comments and messages. You guys are the best❤️
I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, so if you could all just carry on being wonderful then that would be fantastic👏🏼 Here’s to a happy year ahead…
Cheers everyone🥂
#twelvedaysofchristmas #auldlangsyne #promiseillpostmoreoften 🤣
Load More… Follow on Instagram

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