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Feathering the empty nest -
  • home
  • Teddy & Me
  • Teddy’s Legacy
  • My Books
  • Blog
    • Home
    • Lifestyle
    • Loss
    • Pregnancy After Loss
    • Mum’s Voice Blog Series
  • Say Hello
    • Subscribe to my blog
Mum’s Voice Blog Series

Being Dexy’s Mum- Mum’s Voice Guest Post by Hannah

28th June 2018 by Elle No Comments

On Saturday the 27th May 2017 I saw two pink lines. After seeing months of negative tests, and having had a miscarriage 9 months earlier I had never been happier. The one morning I do the test without Phil in the house it comes back positive.

To say I was over the moon doesn’t cover it. I rang Phil straight away to ask him if he wanted the good news or the bad news. Of course he said the bad. “We are going to need a bigger flat”.  All I heard next was rambling “Are you pregnant?” “That’s amazing“. I knew our lives would be forever changed.

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Reading time: 7 min
Mum’s Voice Blog Series

The Legacy of Leo- Mum’s Voice Guest Post by Jess

12th June 2018 by Elle 1 Comment
Lately, I keep hearing about two and half year olds. Every random person who mentions their children, seem to have two and a half year olds. The half is so important. I always know how old Leo would be. Two and a half, almost. The age of my first son, my first child.
In January, 2016 after a seemingly textbook pregnancy, I arrived at our local Maternity Assessment Unit after a short period of no movement, to be told that my child had died. I was 37 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Term, plus a bonus day. And suddenly we had entered this unknown world where pregnant mothers carry dead babies, and wait for an induction. A world where you labour knowing the end will be silent.
The day before, I was pottering about in his nursery. Rearranging his extensive book collection – hand-me-downs that should have taken him from picture book through to Famous Five, Harry Potter, Northern Lights and on to Lord of the Rings. Yet he was dead. And I was still pregnant.
Three days later he was born. Leading up to labour I was almost paralysed by fear, sat catatonic on my sofa not knowing what to expect – yet his birth was positive, meeting him was.. is, one of my greatest memories. It’s hard at times to think back to those days, but Leo is and always will be our son and meeting him and seeing his little fingers, his big feet and his dark hair made me feel safe again. Safe that he was okay, we were okay. He had gone, but he was with me and I could care for him now, forever.
We conceived Leo Phoenix, as he was named in an instant upon hearing his death, after two years of fertility treatment. As a two mum family, we knew fertility treatment was the right avenue for us to become parents. But we just never knew it could be so, so hard.
Using anonymous sperm donation, we did three cycles of IUI – artificial insemination – at a clinic in London. All failed. We never, ever expected that. We hadn’t been prepared that it might not work. We were completely thrown, yet eventually found our path to another clinic and started IVF.
On our second IVF cycle, Leo was conceived! Finally. Finally. After jumping from blood test to scan to pregnancy test to appointment – we were going to be Mothers. When he died, our worlds abruptly stopped and started again. We entered a new chapter, one far darker than we ever imagined parenthood could create. But, importantly, one where we were still mothers. Leo taught us that. And he taught us just how much love we had for him and eachother, and how much we wanted to bring a child home with us.
Now when I meet people new on this journey, and I think back to those early days of utter confusion and pain – I can say safely, that the light does come back in. But that never detracts from how hard it will always be that Leo isn’t here. Or how much I long for his prescence in my home, alongside his little brother. Or how much I see the gaps that his death creates.

Time heals apparently. Except it doesn’t really. Time changes things, gives new perspectives, adds layers and complicates. It gives us the opportunity to practice how to cope, to find out what works – but two and half years after my son was stillborn, I still don’t think time heals.

Jess x
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Reading time: 3 min
Mum’s Voice Blog Series

Broken Hearts & Silent Tears- Mum’s Voice Guest Post by Laura

30th May 2018 by Elle 52 Comments

There are a great many narratives of baby loss. Each one is unique of course, but they all share common features: shock, despair, anger, guilt, shame. The feeling that life as you know it has, without warning, shattered all around you; your world changed forever.

Part of navigating life after loss is finding a way to tell your story. You discover the language which best reflects your reality; decide which details to share and which to keep for yourself; and, in time, your motherhood becomes part of the patchwork of your identity. It’s painful, but you learn how to own it.

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Mum’s Voice Blog Series

Being Gabriel’s Mummy- Mum’s Voice Guest Post by Louise

14th May 2018 by Elle 4 Comments

Losing my baby was never something I had ever thought about, why would it be? For 41 weeks I carried Gabriel and there was never an inkling of a concern that I would go home with just a small box containing some of the clothes he had worn, his hand and feet prints and a lock of his hair around my neck. But in just a few life-altering moments my entire future was changed and I now live with emotions which I would never have known possible.

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About me

elle Elle Wright is a wife, mother, author and blogger. After the death of her son, Teddy, at three days old, Elle started writing to navigate her new life and as a way to feel purpose again. Her Feathering The Empty Nest blog is a way of finding light in darkness, positivity in times of desperation and, hopefully, making a few people laugh along the way.

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Recent posts

Our Flying Eagle-Guest post by Shema

Our Flying Eagle-Guest post by Shema

16th April 2021
My Phoebe- Guest post by Emma, update

My Phoebe- Guest post by Emma, update

14th April 2021
Re-defining Motherhood- Guest post by Becky

Re-defining Motherhood- Guest post by Becky

9th April 2021
“I’m sorry, your Uterus Ruptured”. Our Brave Prince- Guest Post by Bhavna

“I’m sorry, your Uterus Ruptured”. Our Brave Prince- Guest Post by Bhavna

1st April 2021
There’s One, And There’s The Other One; My Story Of Twin Loss- Guest post by Louise

There’s One, And There’s The Other One; My Story Of Twin Loss- Guest post by Louise

26th March 2021

Instagram Feed

feathering_the_empty_nest

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to record as a A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to record as a podcast guest with these wonderful ladies, Bex and Laura.
For those of you who don’t know, they started their (award winning😉) podcast and community @the_worstgirlgang_ever just last year, and it’s already grown into something incredible.
This was the first podcast I’d recorded in almost a year, and it’s fair to say that they both made me feel hugely welcome. We talked about everything! Covering IVF, miscarriage, TFMR, the language we use around loss, those all-important fertility investigations 🖊✨😳, pregnancy after loss...and everything in between.  Plus, we had a laugh along the way (always the best kind of chats!)
There are two parts to our chat, and you can listen now by clicking the link in their page bio. They’ve had some brilliant guests on their podcast this series, including @ihadamiscarriage and @jessicahayesx_ , both episodes I enjoyed hugely. Basically, well worth a listen 🎧 
Thank you Bex & Laura, it was an absolute pleasure!🙏🏼❤️
#weneedtotalkaboutbabyloss #ttcjourney #teddyslegacy #pregnancyafterloss
With just a month to go until A Bump In The Road i With just a month to go until A Bump In The Road is finally published, I thought now might be a good time to tell you about how I’ll be sending book number two out into the world...💫
Obviously it goes without saying that things are a little different this time around, with no face-to-face bookshop events able to take place. BUT, the wonderful folk at @waterstones have come to the rescue, meaning I’ll be having a chat, talking all things ‘A Bump In The Road’ with @mrsgifletcher at 7.30pm on publication day (Thursday 29th April).
You’ll get the chance to ask your own questions too...all in the comfort of your own home! So grab a cuppa/ glass of wine/ whatever floats your boat and JOIN US!

Tickets just £5 OR £17 including a copy of the book📔 Link in my bio (you know how it goes...) 
(T&Cs – UK postage only, postage made after the event, Zoom required) 

#abumpintheroadbook #ttccommunity
If you’re finding the build-up to Sunday hard, f If you’re finding the build-up to Sunday hard, for whatever reason, just know that you aren’t alone.❤️
Mothers without children , children without mothers, those navigating a journey they never expected to try and get there. 
Personally, I can say that I expected it to be somehow magically fixed for me this year.  It does feel very different, but that pang of dread in the pit of my stomach still lingers.  The posts and adverts are still triggering.  This year has shown me that pure happiness and that familiar sadness can run seamlessly alongside one another, and that that’s okay. I’m not sure if it will always feel that way, who knows. 
Sending love to anyone who needs it ahead of Sunday, and I hope that this weekend is as gentle on you as it can be❤️
#mothersday #thisismymotherhood
Thank you🙏🏼❤️ I know yesterday was World Thank you🙏🏼❤️
I know yesterday was World Book Day and that I’ve probably missed the boat, but I just wanted to express my thanks to everyone for their kind and supportive words this week about A Bump In The Road.
I won’t lie, I’ve felt incredibly nervous about talking about it. Probably a combination of having been locked up in the house alone in my thoughts for months and the fact that I’ve (once again) let my inner most thoughts and feelings tumble out into the pages of a book. 
I wrote it last year, when we were all locked up the first time around🤪 and it was a huge therapy for me. It allowed me to process the things that had happened over those four years and helped me get through pregnancy after loss. So I really hope that reading those words might help a few others too🤞🏼
I owe a huge thank you to @beth.books and @laurieemtweets for handling everything else July-February, and to my wonderful Mum for reading through the first round of edits (any spelling/grammar mistakes and I’m hoping we can all blame her🤷🏼‍♀️😂). 
Thank you if you’ve pre-ordered, shared it, taken the time to comment or send me an email. Your support has meant everything, so thank you.🙏🏼❤️
#abumpintheroad #agreatbigthankyou
The four years and two months between our son dyin The four years and two months between our son dying and finally bringing our daughter home with us took me along a path I definitely couldn’t have foreseen. I found myself navigating a road that tested my limits, emotionally and physically.
Every month that passed, every test, every drug, every needle, every scan, every alternative therapy I tried, every procedure, every bit of paperwork, every loss, every smile at another persons happy news and every single tear. Every time I stepped back onto that merry-go-round of secondary infertility and it threw me back off again. It’s all in here...💫📔
It’s not a manual, or a guide. It won’t tell you how to feel or what’s “normal”, but (hopefully) it’s a story that might help others who find themselves on a similar path, or anyone looking to support a friend through fertility struggles and loss.
I’m really proud to say that this book also includes the stories of four wonderful women I’ve had the privilege of meeting through these squares, and who have all bravely and brilliantly shared their stories of infertility, IVF, loss, TFMR, adoption, surrogacy and so much more. So a heartfelt thank you goes to @life.before.you @vanessahaye @littlenorfolkcottage and @ourlyonspride 🙏🏼❤️
Plus there’s a beautiful foreword written by the wonderful soul that it @emmalcannon 💫
I hope this book can be a friend to those who need it, a familiar voice that tells you you’re not alone in this, and a hand to hold yours. Because sometimes our stories aren’t as straightforward as we might have hoped, sometimes there’s a bump in the road...
Publishing NEXT MONTH🥳 29th April, but available to pre-order now. 

#oopsididitagain #booktwo #abumpintheroadbook #1in4 #TTC #IVF #weneedtotalkaboutbabyloss
A big thank you to everyone who took the time to r A big thank you to everyone who took the time to read the first post in series 3 of the #mumsvoiceblog yesterday.  It’s a project started in 2018 and I’m so glad it’s back💫

The biggest thank you goes to Kajal @aurelias_wish for starting this series with such a beautifully written post about her daughter and their family story🙏🏼❤️ 
It always feels such a privilege to be able to share other people’s experiences on the blog and I hope anyone who read yesterday’s post gained as much from it as I did.
#weneedtotalkaboutbabyloss #1in4
Load More… Follow on Instagram

Categories

  • Home
  • Lifestyle
  • Loss
  • Mum’s Voice Blog Series
  • Pregnancy After Loss

feathering_the_empty_nest

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to record as a A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to record as a podcast guest with these wonderful ladies, Bex and Laura.
For those of you who don’t know, they started their (award winning😉) podcast and community @the_worstgirlgang_ever just last year, and it’s already grown into something incredible.
This was the first podcast I’d recorded in almost a year, and it’s fair to say that they both made me feel hugely welcome. We talked about everything! Covering IVF, miscarriage, TFMR, the language we use around loss, those all-important fertility investigations 🖊✨😳, pregnancy after loss...and everything in between.  Plus, we had a laugh along the way (always the best kind of chats!)
There are two parts to our chat, and you can listen now by clicking the link in their page bio. They’ve had some brilliant guests on their podcast this series, including @ihadamiscarriage and @jessicahayesx_ , both episodes I enjoyed hugely. Basically, well worth a listen 🎧 
Thank you Bex & Laura, it was an absolute pleasure!🙏🏼❤️
#weneedtotalkaboutbabyloss #ttcjourney #teddyslegacy #pregnancyafterloss
With just a month to go until A Bump In The Road i With just a month to go until A Bump In The Road is finally published, I thought now might be a good time to tell you about how I’ll be sending book number two out into the world...💫
Obviously it goes without saying that things are a little different this time around, with no face-to-face bookshop events able to take place. BUT, the wonderful folk at @waterstones have come to the rescue, meaning I’ll be having a chat, talking all things ‘A Bump In The Road’ with @mrsgifletcher at 7.30pm on publication day (Thursday 29th April).
You’ll get the chance to ask your own questions too...all in the comfort of your own home! So grab a cuppa/ glass of wine/ whatever floats your boat and JOIN US!

Tickets just £5 OR £17 including a copy of the book📔 Link in my bio (you know how it goes...) 
(T&Cs – UK postage only, postage made after the event, Zoom required) 

#abumpintheroadbook #ttccommunity
If you’re finding the build-up to Sunday hard, f If you’re finding the build-up to Sunday hard, for whatever reason, just know that you aren’t alone.❤️
Mothers without children , children without mothers, those navigating a journey they never expected to try and get there. 
Personally, I can say that I expected it to be somehow magically fixed for me this year.  It does feel very different, but that pang of dread in the pit of my stomach still lingers.  The posts and adverts are still triggering.  This year has shown me that pure happiness and that familiar sadness can run seamlessly alongside one another, and that that’s okay. I’m not sure if it will always feel that way, who knows. 
Sending love to anyone who needs it ahead of Sunday, and I hope that this weekend is as gentle on you as it can be❤️
#mothersday #thisismymotherhood
Thank you🙏🏼❤️ I know yesterday was World Thank you🙏🏼❤️
I know yesterday was World Book Day and that I’ve probably missed the boat, but I just wanted to express my thanks to everyone for their kind and supportive words this week about A Bump In The Road.
I won’t lie, I’ve felt incredibly nervous about talking about it. Probably a combination of having been locked up in the house alone in my thoughts for months and the fact that I’ve (once again) let my inner most thoughts and feelings tumble out into the pages of a book. 
I wrote it last year, when we were all locked up the first time around🤪 and it was a huge therapy for me. It allowed me to process the things that had happened over those four years and helped me get through pregnancy after loss. So I really hope that reading those words might help a few others too🤞🏼
I owe a huge thank you to @beth.books and @laurieemtweets for handling everything else July-February, and to my wonderful Mum for reading through the first round of edits (any spelling/grammar mistakes and I’m hoping we can all blame her🤷🏼‍♀️😂). 
Thank you if you’ve pre-ordered, shared it, taken the time to comment or send me an email. Your support has meant everything, so thank you.🙏🏼❤️
#abumpintheroad #agreatbigthankyou
The four years and two months between our son dyin The four years and two months between our son dying and finally bringing our daughter home with us took me along a path I definitely couldn’t have foreseen. I found myself navigating a road that tested my limits, emotionally and physically.
Every month that passed, every test, every drug, every needle, every scan, every alternative therapy I tried, every procedure, every bit of paperwork, every loss, every smile at another persons happy news and every single tear. Every time I stepped back onto that merry-go-round of secondary infertility and it threw me back off again. It’s all in here...💫📔
It’s not a manual, or a guide. It won’t tell you how to feel or what’s “normal”, but (hopefully) it’s a story that might help others who find themselves on a similar path, or anyone looking to support a friend through fertility struggles and loss.
I’m really proud to say that this book also includes the stories of four wonderful women I’ve had the privilege of meeting through these squares, and who have all bravely and brilliantly shared their stories of infertility, IVF, loss, TFMR, adoption, surrogacy and so much more. So a heartfelt thank you goes to @life.before.you @vanessahaye @littlenorfolkcottage and @ourlyonspride 🙏🏼❤️
Plus there’s a beautiful foreword written by the wonderful soul that it @emmalcannon 💫
I hope this book can be a friend to those who need it, a familiar voice that tells you you’re not alone in this, and a hand to hold yours. Because sometimes our stories aren’t as straightforward as we might have hoped, sometimes there’s a bump in the road...
Publishing NEXT MONTH🥳 29th April, but available to pre-order now. 

#oopsididitagain #booktwo #abumpintheroadbook #1in4 #TTC #IVF #weneedtotalkaboutbabyloss
A big thank you to everyone who took the time to r A big thank you to everyone who took the time to read the first post in series 3 of the #mumsvoiceblog yesterday.  It’s a project started in 2018 and I’m so glad it’s back💫

The biggest thank you goes to Kajal @aurelias_wish for starting this series with such a beautifully written post about her daughter and their family story🙏🏼❤️ 
It always feels such a privilege to be able to share other people’s experiences on the blog and I hope anyone who read yesterday’s post gained as much from it as I did.
#weneedtotalkaboutbabyloss #1in4
Load More… Follow on Instagram

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